Hello Reader,

You’ve probably heard of a tuning fork, but I’m guessing you've never identified as one.

Wait, you’re not overly familiar with tuning forks? Not a problem; I have a quickie introduction below.

Then I’ll explain how you are more like a tuning fork than you think.

And if you’re a doubter, read on. 👀

First of all, tuning forks are cool and frequently underappreciated. Sound like anyone you know?

A tuning fork is a metal object shaped like a narrow U with a handle. And come to think of it, that “U” may be the universe’s way of telling “you” something.

Here’s how it works:

Tap a tuning fork, and its prongs move rapidly back and forth, producing a clear tone. You may not see the movement with the naked eye, but you hear it, like a little hum.

The number of these movements per second is called its frequency.

Each tuning fork is designed to vibrate at a specific frequency, producing a particular tone. Musical tuning forks might sound an A or a C.

You just tap it, and it starts sounding.

No batteries. No app. Nothing to plug in.

Tuning forks are used by musicians to tune instruments, yes, but many people use them in sound-based wellness practices, like Biofield Tuning, the method developed by Eileen McKusick.

(I just love her work and own several of her tuning forks. Just a personal mention, nothing for sale here.)🙂

Now for the interesting part.

Imagine holding two tuning forks made to produce the same note, meaning their prongs vibrate at the same frequency when tapped.

Tap the first fork only. Its sound waves travel through the air, giving the second fork’s prongs tiny pushes at just the right rhythm.

And here’s the oh-so-cool part: that second, untouched, unsuspecting fork starts vibrating at the same frequency as the first.

Like magic, right? 🎵 Only it isn’t. It’s science, but being magical is much more fun.

It’s called sympathetic resonance.

Here’s the critical part:

The Match Matters.

If the second fork is made to produce a different note or frequency, it largely ignores the tapped fork’s signal.

So, what does this have to do with you and me?

Well, as unromantic and slightly icky as it sounds, picture us as walking, talking tuning forks in biochemical meat suits, 🤺 juggling family, making a living, running errands, …and experiencing moods.

Our moods have measurable effects on our brains and bodies. And while they may not technically broadcast a musical note, they can certainly set the tone.

When someone else’s frustration frequency doesn’t strike a familiar note, we may hear it without getting wound up ourselves.

But sometimes it does, and we start resonating the same.

Like when your lunch mate casually complains about her cousin who is a controlling skankapotamus. You mean to listen with empathy, but her story rings true, and before you realize it, you’re inwardly feeling the old frustration of someone calling the shots in your own life.

Your empathy has morphed into angst, and now her cousin’s story has you bristling, too.

This makes YOU the unsuspecting tuning fork, set off by the frequency of the first.

But, and this is important…

… a ringing tuning fork can be quieted immediately by gently pressing its prongs between your fingers, like giving it a little hug. And when you do, the vibration (and the signal) stops.

So that means, yep! You can stop and shift that frequency any time you want by noticing what’s happening and redirecting your attention.

Give yourself another frequency to respond to:

Think about that lovely vacation coming up. Or something you’re grateful for.

How much you love your partner. ❤️

Or your dog, who greets you like you’ve returned from a dangerous expedition when you’ve only been getting the mail. 🐶 (Oooh, that tail wag transmits a wonderful frequency. 🥰🔊)

And before you think, “Great, she’s telling me to swallow my feelings,” no. Your anger, hurt, or anxiety deserves attention. It may be telling you something you need to hear.

Making room for gratitude or love doesn’t cancel that message.

You can be hurt at your best friend and still appreciate your partner. Angry and still enjoy your dog’s endearing enthusiasm for a tennis ball.

You don’t always have to choose every resonating frequency that shows up.

You can pause, listen to what it’s telling you, and decide what to do next.

Now, keep in mind that some frequencies get us going faster than others.

Criticism might be yours.

Someone says, “You’re wearing that?”

Suddenly you’re feeling defensive, and your thrift store blazer is hearing its Miranda rights.

Guilt is another popular frequency.

“Well, I suppose I could manage on my own.”

Next thing you know, you’ve canceled your plans and agreed to move an armoire.

You only called to say happy birthday.

Sometimes we get caught up in a frequency, and we miss the moment when we could…

…Pause, and Shift.

And when we do, when we note what’s happening, we can get curious.

What did that stir up in me?

Why did that make me feel I need approval?

Or am I stepping into my familiar role as fixer or defender?

Is that what I want?

And just like that, the frequency has started to shift.

But hey, this doesn’t get us off the hook for picking up important signals, like when someone is hurting or truly needs our help.

We just need a filter so we can recognize what deserves our attention without latching on to every frequency that attracts us.

So, unlike that poor, defenseless little second tuning fork, minding its business until its neighbor gets it going, you have a choice.

Sometimes the response is, “Shields up.” 🛡️🆙

Other times it’s, “Sure, you’ve helped me plenty. I can help you move the armoire.”

Same request. A little more room to choose.

But before we get off scot-free thinking we’re always the second tuning fork, admit that sometimes WE’RE the ones sending the signal.

A bad mood can travel through a snippy answer, a histrionic sigh, or an expression that suggests everyone should brace for a Monday morning thermonuclear explosion.

We may not mean to spread the plague of crankiness, but apparently we’re contagious. 🦠

Happily though, many signals are worth making room for.

Laughter, for instance.

Someone starts laughing, really giggling, and you join in before you even know the story.

Or you meet someone who seems comfortable with you exactly as you are.

It’s a comfy frequency, as many frequencies can be.

So perhaps the questions are: What am I picking up, and what am I transmitting?

We can listen without taking on someone’s entire mood. We can admit we’re cranky before going all Spanish Inquisition.☢️😲

And we can make room for the people who help us laugh and feel at ease.

You don’t need to be cheerful every minute.

But you might have a little more say in the next frequency you encounter.

And when you notice you’re caught up in a frequency you don’t want, remember that gentle hug that quiets the tuning fork.

Give yourself a little grace, take a slow breath, and allow yourself a moment to settle before carrying that feeling into the rest of your day, or passing it to a neighboring tuning fork. 🤗

Until next time!

Your coach,

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